Urban Fiction: Living it Out - Day Two: A New Beginning

What do you get when you combine a car, alcohol, and a one-way street? I don’t know what you get, but I got a DUI arrest. That’s Driving while Under the Influence for those of you who hadn’t heard that term before.

You see, the thing about alcohol is that it puts your brain to sleep so you don’t even know how drunk you are. This was the case with the person I…ah…er…met this morning. This person was drunk enough to drive the wrong way up a one-way street and perform some pretty strange driving maneuvers, and all the time not even know they were over the legal limit. In the state of Idaho, that’s only .08 percent blood/breath.

Anyway, back to the story. There I was just minding my business and doing my patrol thing when zip, bam, buoy –Don’t you just love the Batman sound affects?--- this drunk goes zipping through town. When I finally got them stopped and administered the three basic tests to them, I was amazed that they didn’t just put the handcuffs on themselves and go straight to jail.

Like I was saying, there are three basic tests. The gaze nystagmus, which is a test of the muscle response to stimuli after it has been affected by a CN depressant…i.e. alcohol. The second test is probably the most well know and is the walk and turn. Yep, the driver failed that one too. The last test was the one leg stand test and when done well it is beautiful to watch. When its not, its not. It can be rather scary, especially if you are standing near a busy road.

Needless to say, this little adventure ended with a trip to jail for our driver. The queerest thing however was not how they drove or even how they performed on the test, but rather that they didn’t even think they were drunk. Now that’s scary…remember the 4000-pound thing I talked about.

So with all that said, I’m thinking if you’re drinking don’t be driving. The two just don’t go together. Just saying.

Urban Fiction: Living it Out - Day One: A New Beginning

Boom! Crunch! Bam! No, it’s not a missing episode of the old Batman TV series. –Did I just date myself? – These are the sounds we usually associate with two cars trying to occupy the same space…at the same time.

On my last shift, yes, it was hot –almost 100 degrees outside-; I had the honor of serving a couple young people who had experienced just such a scenario. I don’t know if you knew this or not, but the average car is about 15 feet in length and weighs about a four tons. Think about it, that’s 15 feet of plastic, metal and glass and meat {Guess who gets to supply the meat? Yeap, you.} at four thousand pounds zipping around the highways and byways of this great land we call home.

Imagine you are driving a comfortable two car lengths behind the car in front of you, that’s about 60 feet. Nevertheless, if you are traveling at only 35 mph, you are covering up to 51 feet per second. Now if you happen to look up, down, or at your cell phone or even blink….BOOM! Crunch! Bam! And we have to take in consideration that it takes the average person 0.20-0.25 of a second to even react. See my point?
Believe me, I’m just a street cop, so this math thing is way over my head, but those who know say that at 60 mph you are covering 88 feet per second…that’s over two car lengths in the blink of an eye. There are 5280 feet in a mile….So, 5280 feet multiplied by 60 (mph) and you get 316,800 total feet. Now, divide 316,800 by 60 (minutes in an hour) and you get 5280 feet. The final step is to divide 5280 by 60 (seconds in a minute) and you wind up with 88 feet per second, or in most cases BOOM! Crunch! Bam!
Now I don’t mind coming to the aid of motorist on the road, but I would very much rather it not be as a result of the Boom-crash-bam affect. (Smile). Just saying.

Urban Fiction: Living it Out - Day Eight

As a police officer, there are many tools placed at our disposal available for our use. One of these, and probably one of the least talked about is the vest….The bulletproof vest.

Over my twenty plus years, I have worn a great many styles and types of vest. From the ‘it’s so heavy I can barely move’ to the ‘this feels like cotton wrapped around my gut’. (Smile.)

I can remember my first vest was so thick and heavy; I would have to use my hands occasionally to lift it and let a breeze under just to cool off. My latest vest is from the opposite end of the spectrum and feels more like a thick tee shirt.

So after five plus years it’s finally time for a new vest. The new ones are a very cool dark blue and look kind of like the one Batman wore in “The Dark Knight”, but without all the added muscles. The good thing is that it is lightweight and flexible. Having it be able to stop a bullet is a major plus, however.

Another bad thing about a vest –for those of you who have never had to wear one- after a while they can begin to stink. You know the sweaty gym locker room kind of stink. It’s a healthy stink as stinks go, but it stinks nonetheless. So, yeah, I’m really looking forward to my new vest. But, on the other hand, I was thinking maybe Febreeze should send us all a check for the boost in stock value we have given them. One good turn deserves another, right? (Smile) Just saying…

Urban Fiction: Living it Out - Day Seven.1

As a cop, I get tired of my brothers, the Firemen, getting all the glory. They ride around in their shiny red trucks and everybody applauds them; ladies throw flower in their path as they drive by. Well, maybe not that bad, but you get my point.

I’d just like to say we cops do some pretty terrific things too. This time of year is especially so. When the heat outside rises upward toward a hundred degrees Fahrenheit, the inside of your car –yes, even with the windows cracked – can be a virtual oven. Earlier this week, I got a call of an animal locked in a car. The poor thing was cooking in its own juices. After executing an emergency extraction, I had to run cool water over her just to get her body temp low enough for her to move and function on her own. Please, let’s not even bring up the topic of children being locked in cars.

So, the next time you see a patrol car go whizzing by you, just think…maybe it’s going to save the life of a distressed animal. Sure, maybe we don’t climb ladders to get stuck kittens out of trees, but we do our fair share too. Who knows, maybe, Nate can manage to save a few critters in one of his upcoming adventures. It would be par for the course after all. We cops are heroes too. (Smile) Just saying…

Urban Fiction: Living it Out - Day Seven

I’ve finished re-training!!!

After a great week, I finally got the news I’ve been waiting for, for the last six weeks. I’ll tell you how it happened. The shift started like it always does, fast. Right out the gate, one of my partners stops this guy, a really bad guy, and invites him to a stay at the county resort. (Smile)

Then, I stopped this lady who was driving a vehicle that hadn’t been registered in over three months. That was bad, but what I gave her a ticket for was not insuring her vehicle. I explained to her that I could overlook her tardiness in getting registered –for another day or so- but she couldn’t risk hitting someone and not being able to take care of the resulting problem. That was my day; well that was the pattern of my day.

Then at the end of the night my FTO- Field Training Officer- pulls me aside and says, “You’re done. You’re on your own.” Hallelujah! Needless to say, that was music to my ears.

So starting next week, I have my car to myself and I won’t have to listen to country music anymore. Hey, I’m not hating, but I’m more of a talk radio kind of guy. (Smile).

Now, the question is, how can I work this sense of promotion and freedom into Nate’s existence? Isn’t writing fiction wonderful? As one of my favorite quotes goes, “Fiction is just reality that hasn’t happened yet.” Just saying…

Urban Fiction: Living it Out - Day Six

Last night…do I even have to talk about last night? To be fair, I guess I should. To put it bluntly, I stunk. It’s not like I didn’t do some pretty good things, it’s just that I did one or two really stupid things. I made rookie mistakes…first year cop mistakes, not a twenty-two year veteran mistake. Thank God, no one got hurt and nothing was loss, but it just stunk that I messed up so badly.

What did I do? You would ask that. Well actually, I got lost in my own city. Here I was driving around going to answer a call when all of a sudden nothing was familiar. I mean it’s been almost ten years since I drove a black and white around the city. And at night…well that just made it worse. Thankfully, the call was not an emergency, but I still stunk up the place.

The good news is that tonight I did much better. Yes, I took bad guys to jail, but this time it was bitter sweet. Sometimes it is. Here I was placing big brother into cuffs while little brother sat in the passenger side seat crying. Yes, big brother needed to go to jail…and he did, but it was just a little sad to watch a teenage boy cry because his brother is getting arrested.

I think about my character, Nate Richards, and all the adjustments he makes as he faces the various situations in the course of a story; how many lives he comes in contact with. That’s what I’m trying to bring to my readers, to help my fans understand what it is really like to be on this side of the badge. Sometimes the arrest is a big hurrah and at others times not so much. It’s just the way life goes. Just saying.

Urban Fiction: Living it Out - Day Five

Entered the last phase of retraining tonight and wouldn’t you know it…it turned out to be a pretty flat evening. Ten hours and about 61 miles of driving later and still, I did not have a whole lot to show for my efforts.

The shift began pretty good, a promising traffic stop followed by an assist with a possible drug arrest. But, just like a two-day-old soda, it went flat. The first stopped turned out to be teens driving grandparents car on their way to a school event. Nothing. The second stop…well it wasn’t even my stop, but it turned out to be nothing as well.

Then when I’m finally on my way to get my coveted Diet Coke…oh yes, Diet Coke, bam! I drive right into the middle of a traffic accident. No, I wasn’t in the accident, I mean I drove right up on it just after it had occurred. So, it’s like fishing, you catch it you clean it.

So after the traffic report was done it was more trolling just looking for the bad guy, the criminal element. You know all the fun stuff we cops like to do.

One thought though, if you’re gonna have a yard sale or a garage sale, make sure to keep your money and your purse well away from where your “Shoppers” will be perusing. It just might save you a lot of trouble and a whole bucket of tears. Just saying.